DON’T BE AN ESCAPIST!
“Don’t run away from challenges, run over them.” - Joan Benoit Samuelson
Your life is nothing but an array of transition. Some of them being unexpected and stressful while others being acceptable and desirable. You are well aware of the saying that life is not a bed of roses but a carpet of challenges. But still, we as humans have carved our character in such a blunt manner, that the moment trouble knocks at our door, we tend to tremble from within and instead of opening the door, try to escape from any window (which is an easier option). And in this entire hustle, we tend to forget one universal fact, "No one can escape problems. One either needs to face its consequences or combat it with courage."
Running away from challenges or making the transition in every phase of life weakens our identity as an able minded individual who has been God gifted with the power of rational thinking. Falling prey to the adverse situation was never in your plan, but how to come out of that situation can always be well planned by you. Running away might give you momentary relief but in future when history will repeat itself you will be standing on the same stage of a dilemma, where you are today.
Let's question you,
"If you are facing issues with your current boss, is the change of job the only solution for you?"
"If your married life is undergoing distress, is divorce the ultimate solace?"
"If your kid is not performing well at school, is the change of school justifiable step?"
"If you are requiring some extra efforts to make your professional identity in your nation, is the change of country the wiser solution?"
If the answer to any one or all the above questions is YES for you, then you definitely need to feel sorry for yourself because you are leaving behind a legacy of being an escapist who runs away from challenges, rather than conquering them.
A wall of brick might be the end of the journey for some, but for others it’s the beginning of new phase when crossed over. Therefore,
"If you have adverse relation with your boss, talk to him. Communication can yield the solution for the complex of the problems. But the point is talk and communicate don't crib and run."
"If words have lost their identity as the mode of communication between you and your spouse, take help of gestures. Remember your spouse was once the world for you and he/she is the only person you know inside out."
"If your kid is a low performer at school, polish him with skills to outshine others instead of making him an escapist."
"It's better to earn little less and serve your nation, than aiding the economy of another country. Feel obliged towards your own country. It will never kick you, even if you are jobless."
You know that it's wrong to make a switch, every time a trouble arises, but still, you tend to make this call.
Have you wondered why?
Actually, you and I have been programmed to do so since childhood. Consciously or sub consciously we tend to sabotage our professional and personal life because we don't want to hurt our ego. The moment our routine life faces an unfamiliar or vulnerable situation, we get inclined to find solace in easier options (even if it involves, showing our back). But is it good?
Because frequent transitions just to escape the challenges will trap us in a vicious circle where we will master the art of hopping but will never conquer the goal.
So, here are few coping skills which will armour you to skip the role of an escapist in a better fashion:
- Focus more on understanding the cause which led to the change and identify how the change can be managed. If a student is being bullied at college, instead of changing the college, talk to the authority who can take control of the act.
- Accept the changes as part of normal life. Don’t avoid them. Otherwise it will make you less productive and more vulnerable to failures.
- Identify your goals and don’t let any challenge become an excuse for you to lament upon when you pen down your biography.
- Identify and express yourself through words (written or spoken). Answers will definitely pave their way towards you.
- Make plans but with flexibility ensured. Minor changes in life should not become reasons big enough to let you reframe the entire plan. Strategies your plans with options.
- Accept the adversities. Remember the phase will pass.
- Don’t fall prey to addiction of any sort. Addiction makes you more vulnerable to making wrong choices, which you might lament in future.
- Communicate and build you support system with people who don’t judge you. Your friends and family.
Finally, don't let your critical inner voice sabotage your thoughts and behaviour that otherwise makes you feel and do great. Whenever an anxiety invoking situation arises, instead of avoiding the situation force yourself to face the fear. Your actions might not give you the desired result but you tend to equip yourself with valuable learning that 'it's not the end of the world'.
Written By Arjun Gaur
©Copyright 2017 Lifez Honour - Finding The Real Me